You may be her or know someone very similar. She lives and works in the very town or city she has always lived in, and she SWEARS that she has met every available and unavailable man there!
Okay, she makes some valid points. Six degrees of separation aside, if you live in a small community or even a small metropolitan area all your life - you are bound to know or be indirectly connected to many of the men in the area.
So the pool of prospects has been contaminated. You know someone, who knows someone else and they always know something negative about your potential guy.
So now what? Well this woman dreams and fantasizes about moving - but is also waiting on some mysterious force to get her to move. So she stays. And complains. Grows bitter. And when she goes out because she was bored to death at home - its written all over her face, so no man wants to risk rejection and approach her.So at the end of the night, she's back at home - sipping on red wine - dreaming of a future instead of creating one.
Suggestions?
1. If you want fresh surroundings, then make the move to another city or state. Meet a new circle of people and build some fresh relationships.
2. If you stay - make it work for you. What area do many out-of-towners tend to move to? Start hanging out in that part of town. Get out of your box and try something new. You may meet a new person at those salsa lessons, yoga class, or any new situation.
3. Put the wine down, turn the TV off, and focus on a life goal or passion while you are waiting to meet someone new. Imagine what you could get done!
4. Consider talking through your anger and bitterness with someone. You have to appear emotionally approachable and available.
http://www.girlshrink.com
Miss Rather-Not-Be-Played
I like to call her the woman who rather not be played. She doesn't want to appear dumb to any man. And you know what? She never does, because she never is in a serious relationship with any man!
Look, I know we all have at least one horror story about a bad relationship. I was hurt. You were hurt. Something he did or said. But that was then and this is now. Things can be different. Especially if your tragic heartbreak happened your freshman year of college or worse yet--prom night! Uh, how long ago was that?
Miss rather-not-be-played tends to make very strong statements about other peoples relationships. How dumb they are. How silly they are acting. How desperate they appear. They don't really believe in anyone's relationship. They have no sense of compromise. They are looking for men to make mistakes. Make senseless comments. Wrong choices. Wear bad shoes.
She is sure that every man on the planet is keeping secrets. Ones that are detrimental to her very survival.
She is scared out of her mind. Scared of getting hurt. Scared of getting played.
So she never takes a chance on meeting anyone. She rather not go to clubs or bars. She doesn't want to meet mutual friends (so to not appear as desperate). She doesn't trust anyone she meets on the street. All the men at her job are undesirable or taken.
So what is the remedy for this woman?
1. Well, she needs to really retrace that good and bad of the relationship that has damaged her.
2. Try to figure out what preceded the downward spiral of the relationship.
3. Accept responsibility for the part she played in the demise of the relationship.
4. Forgive herself and him.
5. Get ready to meet the next person with an open mind.
www.GirlShrink.com
Look, I know we all have at least one horror story about a bad relationship. I was hurt. You were hurt. Something he did or said. But that was then and this is now. Things can be different. Especially if your tragic heartbreak happened your freshman year of college or worse yet--prom night! Uh, how long ago was that?
Miss rather-not-be-played tends to make very strong statements about other peoples relationships. How dumb they are. How silly they are acting. How desperate they appear. They don't really believe in anyone's relationship. They have no sense of compromise. They are looking for men to make mistakes. Make senseless comments. Wrong choices. Wear bad shoes.
She is sure that every man on the planet is keeping secrets. Ones that are detrimental to her very survival.
She is scared out of her mind. Scared of getting hurt. Scared of getting played.
So she never takes a chance on meeting anyone. She rather not go to clubs or bars. She doesn't want to meet mutual friends (so to not appear as desperate). She doesn't trust anyone she meets on the street. All the men at her job are undesirable or taken.
So what is the remedy for this woman?
1. Well, she needs to really retrace that good and bad of the relationship that has damaged her.
2. Try to figure out what preceded the downward spiral of the relationship.
3. Accept responsibility for the part she played in the demise of the relationship.
4. Forgive herself and him.
5. Get ready to meet the next person with an open mind.
www.GirlShrink.com
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