A relationship has enough of a roller coaster ride to manage without the added baggage of forging a healthy relationship between your boyfriend and your best friend. Don't you think?
Well, to start there's always the matter of who came first. Who is more important. Who is feeling slighted. Who is a little jealous. Or perhaps it could be that you and your best friend have extremely similar tastes and you are wondering if she likes him a little more than she should. Does she find him attractive. Does he find her attractive. Are they both passionate about something that you aren't? Like music or Stephen King novels?
Best friends and boyfriends...I mean it's almost worst than your family not liking him, because you spend a majority of your time and energy connecting with your best friend. So if she doesn't like him or likes him too much - then what? But no one dumps their boyfriends over their best friends do they? Not really. Over mom and dad. Maybe sisters and brothers. Definitely children. But never the best friend. She just doesn't rank high enough. Yet, if there is a problem between her and your boyfriend--it's a catastrophe!
Suggestions? Well, it's pretty safe to say that you should treat your best friend just like you would any other family member when it comes to information. If you tell her everything about your boyfriend -- then it can come back to you at a later date and when you least suspect it to. She will remember everything bad you ever said about him, and when you have that big fight with him she will be there to remind you of all that you did tell her. And you will resent her for it -- when really it's your fault.
If you tell your parents or your co-workers or other people only select things about your boyfriend - they you should do the same with your best friend. It is never too late to learn discretion a.k.a. keeping your business to yourself! Much success!
-GirlShrink
Do you need to talk? Or do you need advice? A fresh perspective?
You can get what you need at www.GirlShrink.com. Online Advice-- 24 hours a day. Advice and counseling that you can really apply to your life.
Or to subscribe to the self-help GirlShrink newsletter "Better Choices",
please go to:The Free GirlShrink Newsletter
Dating A Recently Separated Man
Imagine a pretty successful and quite attractive woman in her mid-30s. Her business is thriving, and she has no children yet, so she can afford to do a lot of great things like travel etc. But like many women her age -- she is focused on one thing. Love. Marriage. Children. Love! Marriage! Children!
She goes through men quickly. One after another usually hurting her in some way. Cheating. Lying. Using her for money. Or simply running from the pressure. The pressure of being the object of her desires.
Finally she meets a new one who seems to have promise. He's artistic - a writer. And he's pretty successful at making a living at it. Even better! He also was a "friend" who quickly became a lover after announcing a separation from his wife of 9 years.
So I pose the question. Is it good for you if you are dating a recently separated man?
Well, just imagine that you are friends on Monday, he announces his separation on Tuesday, and you are couple by Friday. That's how it usually works for the woman who becomes "just a friend" with a married man having difficulties at home. Once he or more than likely the wife makes a move towards separation - a new union begins.
A relationship with a recently separated man is one based on a lot of one-sided information most of the time. He likes to talk about all the things his wife did to contaminate the relationship. He likes to talk about how he feels and how it's been so difficult for him. If there are kids involved, there is usually a discussion about how the wife is keeping him from him/her or how the wife was a not-so-great mother. Listen ladies...don't you believe it! It's just an excuse for the both of you to do what you are doing with each other without having to deal with the issues from that relationship.
A man that has recently separated from his wife needs time to address the feelings of the marriage that has ended and where he goes on from there. He has no business jumping head on into another relationship with you or anybody else.
And the biggest reason why is because the new woman is bound to get hurt. Why? Why aren't you the woman that is going to change everything? Well, you just might be, but let time be that deciding factor. Rushing into a relationship with someone who is by all accounts Still Married folks is not the smartest relationship decision.
In a rush? Well, why not bide your time with someone else until your "Mr. Right" gets his head together:)
-GirlShrink
Relationship Advice at GirlShrink.com
Do you need to talk? Or do you need advice? A fresh perspective?
You can get what you need at www.Girlshrink.com 24 hours a day. Advice and counseling that you can really apply to your life.
Or to subscribe to the self-help GirlShrink newsletter "Better Choices",
please go to:The Free GirlShrink Newsletter
She goes through men quickly. One after another usually hurting her in some way. Cheating. Lying. Using her for money. Or simply running from the pressure. The pressure of being the object of her desires.
Finally she meets a new one who seems to have promise. He's artistic - a writer. And he's pretty successful at making a living at it. Even better! He also was a "friend" who quickly became a lover after announcing a separation from his wife of 9 years.
So I pose the question. Is it good for you if you are dating a recently separated man?
Well, just imagine that you are friends on Monday, he announces his separation on Tuesday, and you are couple by Friday. That's how it usually works for the woman who becomes "just a friend" with a married man having difficulties at home. Once he or more than likely the wife makes a move towards separation - a new union begins.
A relationship with a recently separated man is one based on a lot of one-sided information most of the time. He likes to talk about all the things his wife did to contaminate the relationship. He likes to talk about how he feels and how it's been so difficult for him. If there are kids involved, there is usually a discussion about how the wife is keeping him from him/her or how the wife was a not-so-great mother. Listen ladies...don't you believe it! It's just an excuse for the both of you to do what you are doing with each other without having to deal with the issues from that relationship.
A man that has recently separated from his wife needs time to address the feelings of the marriage that has ended and where he goes on from there. He has no business jumping head on into another relationship with you or anybody else.
And the biggest reason why is because the new woman is bound to get hurt. Why? Why aren't you the woman that is going to change everything? Well, you just might be, but let time be that deciding factor. Rushing into a relationship with someone who is by all accounts Still Married folks is not the smartest relationship decision.
In a rush? Well, why not bide your time with someone else until your "Mr. Right" gets his head together:)
-GirlShrink
Relationship Advice at GirlShrink.com
Do you need to talk? Or do you need advice? A fresh perspective?
You can get what you need at www.Girlshrink.com 24 hours a day. Advice and counseling that you can really apply to your life.
Or to subscribe to the self-help GirlShrink newsletter "Better Choices",
please go to:The Free GirlShrink Newsletter
I hate Valentine's Day
If you hate Valentine's Day -- you probably hate that there has been an entire commercial/hallmark revolution created to remind you that you don't have anyone, or the one that you have is not worth celebrating with a gift or even a card.
Or maybe you hate Valentine's Day because you never get the accolades from your sweetheart that you feel you deserve? Feeling a little underappreciated, well Valentine's Day is a bitter reminder of just how much you are underappreciated when all you get is a phone call "Happy Valentine's Day Baby". Uh, is that all you think of me?
Well, there's always the stance you can take that you refuse to buy into all of this Valentine's nonsense. But come on...deep down you've been bred to be a die hard romantic. If you ever watched a Disney movie. Or Gone With the Wind. Or Pretty Woman. You've been brainwashed just like the rest of us.
My suggestion? Do something loving for yourself. Make February 14th a day where you show yourself a lot of love. Get a massage. Buy a present for yourself. Or go somewhere you've been dying to go to by yourself:) Yes I said it. By yourself. You'll be just fine. Remember, you know yourself best. It's easier to do for yourself instead of waiting on someone else to do it for you. Have fun!
Got the blues? Want to talk about a valentine gone wrong? Get some advice now.
-GirlShrink
Do you need to talk? Or do you need advice? A fresh perspective?
You can get what you need at www.Girlshrink.com 24 hours a day. Advice and counseling that you can really apply to your life.
Or to subscribe to the self-help GirlShrink newsletter "Better Choices",
please go to:The Free GirlShrink Newsletter
Or maybe you hate Valentine's Day because you never get the accolades from your sweetheart that you feel you deserve? Feeling a little underappreciated, well Valentine's Day is a bitter reminder of just how much you are underappreciated when all you get is a phone call "Happy Valentine's Day Baby". Uh, is that all you think of me?
Well, there's always the stance you can take that you refuse to buy into all of this Valentine's nonsense. But come on...deep down you've been bred to be a die hard romantic. If you ever watched a Disney movie. Or Gone With the Wind. Or Pretty Woman. You've been brainwashed just like the rest of us.
My suggestion? Do something loving for yourself. Make February 14th a day where you show yourself a lot of love. Get a massage. Buy a present for yourself. Or go somewhere you've been dying to go to by yourself:) Yes I said it. By yourself. You'll be just fine. Remember, you know yourself best. It's easier to do for yourself instead of waiting on someone else to do it for you. Have fun!
Got the blues? Want to talk about a valentine gone wrong? Get some advice now.
-GirlShrink
Do you need to talk? Or do you need advice? A fresh perspective?
You can get what you need at www.Girlshrink.com 24 hours a day. Advice and counseling that you can really apply to your life.
Or to subscribe to the self-help GirlShrink newsletter "Better Choices",
please go to:The Free GirlShrink Newsletter
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