Should Your Fiance Sign A Prenup?

More and more women are entering the workforce making competitive salaries and/or starting their own successful businessess. In many cases, women are out-earning many of the men they are dating, and falling in love with men who make 10, 40, even 100,000 dollars less than they do.

So what's a girl to do when she's ready to marry? Is it necessary to do anything necessary to protect her financial security? Should her fiance sign a prenup? I think that a woman could make a strong case for either scenario.

Sign It!
If you choose to create a prenup for your fiance to sign, make sure you are doing it for the right reasons. To protect the financial security that you have created for yourself thus far. Anything that you two do together or make during the marriage should be fair game.

Make sure that this is not about a lack of trust issue on your end - especially if this is your first marriage. Perhaps you've heard some "horror stories" and you are a little frightened of becoming destitute if things end badly. Remember though that you should be marrying someone who you trust, who supports you, who adores you, and who is already self-sufficient financially.

Women who should consider a prenup are those who have already been through a bad divorce, have young children, or have a fiance that would be more comfortable signing one.

*Britney Spears and Kevin Federline are an example of a couple who should have had a prenup in place. Most of Britney's wealth was acquired before they met, and her husband didn't appear to be fiancially solvent prior to their union.

Don't Sign It!
Asking a man to sign a preup can be offensive and can really mess with a man's ego. So first, you need to ask yourself if you have this type of man. If you know that he is already sensitive about the fact that your salaries are not equal (or that he isn't making more), you should probably expect some resistance to the idea of a prenup. Or worse, you have someone who is offended but doesn't say anything and harbors resentment for the next year or even longer!

In this case, if you choose not to create a prenup for your upcoming union, just make sure that you are marrying a man that you trust will do the "right" thing even if things end up badly. For instance, if you divorce and you have primary custody of the children - will he demand to be bought out which in some cases leads to having sell the house. Or can you both come to an agreement on how he will move and you stay in the family home with the children. Think about the moral character of the man you are marrying - and most of all - trust your gut.


yendis said...

Truth us as women we must protect our values, because lifes changes so changes the people we love, we might move in together but we never end knowing the person loved.

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ASL yia yia said...

Sign it by all accounts. Do this while you are both clear headed, in love and have hope. When and if the worst should happen, you'll be emotional, and/or numb, or full of revenge, or hurt beyond measure.
Think of what you want to protect as assets and focus on keeping the marriage strong so you never have to open the prenup again.
Barb at

anderson said...

It is better to be open and frank than to have weird experiences later on...

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garry said...

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Toccara Mclachlan said...

It's not about the lack of trust, it's about being keenly aware about what your marriage could end up with. And Yia is right; if there should be a prenup, it must be discussed right while both of you are clear-headed and blissfully in love to understand each other.

Toccara Mclachlan

Ferdinand Draper said...

I agree with you, Toccara. It's a bad thing that idea of prenup has negative connotation and often misconceptualized as an act of materialism. Where in fact, as unromantic as it's sound, it's about protecting what you've work hard to gain which is just a right thing to do. You'll be able to get past this issue if you are really committed to be with each other.

Ferdinand Draper

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