Relationship Baggage

Bag're gonna miss your bus...dragging all them bags like that...
-Eryka Badu

If there is ONE thing that is a relationship disaster waiting to happen, it is a man or woman that brings all of their old relationship baggage into the next relationship.

Now I know that it is a natural human reaction to want to protect yourself - but to really invest in a new relationship takes, well it takes some guts. And there really is no way around it. You are not going to reap positive rewards from only investing a part of yourself into a new relationship. And...

You are definitely going to scare away any suitable partner if all you talk about is how the last guy lied. Or how he was threatened by all your success. Or how he was too controlling. Or how he loved the color brown. Or bla bla bla!

Alert people! The new guy doesn't care. And the new guy won't even begin to care if you talk about him or them too much longer. So what can you do? Well, a few things come to mind.

1. Relax. Try to enjoy this new person for who he is. Get to know him and trust your instincts. If you really think about it, there were some red flags that went up during your last relationship - but you just didn't listen.

2. Don't Compare. Don't freak out if this new guy eats his soup the same way your ex did. It doesn't mean that they are twins who were seperated at birth! It just means that comparing the old with the new -- something which is a no-no when starting a new relationship.

3. Think Before You Speak. Think very carefully about what you are going to say before you say it. Sometimes just thinking about your next comment before you make it will save you from the embarrassment of the new guy losing your phone number:)

4. Finally, if you have been really badly scarred by a previous relationship - then you need to work those issues out with a professional before you move on.

Like the song says - if you keep bringing baggage into your relationships - you are definitely going to miss your bus!


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