Dating A Recently Separated Man

Imagine a pretty successful and quite attractive woman in her mid-30s. Her business is thriving, and she has no children yet, so she can afford to do a lot of great things like travel etc. But like many women her age -- she is focused on one thing. Love. Marriage. Children. Love! Marriage! Children!

She goes through men quickly. One after another usually hurting her in some way. Cheating. Lying. Using her for money. Or simply running from the pressure. The pressure of being the object of her desires.

Finally she meets a new one who seems to have promise. He's artistic - a writer. And he's pretty successful at making a living at it. Even better! He also was a "friend" who quickly became a lover after announcing a separation from his wife of 9 years.

So I pose the question. Is it good for you if you are dating a recently separated man?

Well, just imagine that you are friends on Monday, he announces his separation on Tuesday, and you are couple by Friday. That's how it usually works for the woman who becomes "just a friend" with a married man having difficulties at home. Once he or more than likely the wife makes a move towards separation - a new union begins.

A relationship with a recently separated man is one based on a lot of one-sided information most of the time. He likes to talk about all the things his wife did to contaminate the relationship. He likes to talk about how he feels and how it's been so difficult for him. If there are kids involved, there is usually a discussion about how the wife is keeping him from him/her or how the wife was a not-so-great mother. Listen ladies...don't you believe it! It's just an excuse for the both of you to do what you are doing with each other without having to deal with the issues from that relationship.

A man that has recently separated from his wife needs time to address the feelings of the marriage that has ended and where he goes on from there. He has no business jumping head on into another relationship with you or anybody else.

And the biggest reason why is because the new woman is bound to get hurt. Why? Why aren't you the woman that is going to change everything? Well, you just might be, but let time be that deciding factor. Rushing into a relationship with someone who is by all accounts Still Married folks is not the smartest relationship decision.

In a rush? Well, why not bide your time with someone else until your "Mr. Right" gets his head together:)

-GirlShrink
Relationship Advice at GirlShrink.com

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