To flirt or not to flirt...that is the question

Flirting is a very powerful subject in therapy. Everyone wants to talk about it. Either someone does it too much or not at all. Or someone has forgotten how to do it or never learned. Hey, there are even classes about mastering the art of flirting. It comes up enough that I though I should mention a few things about it here.

1. Flirting is not evil. It's a natural occurrence between normal social people.

2. Flirting should not be used as a barometer for whether sex will occur later that night. 1+1 does not = 2:)

3. Flirting is natural but it also an art that can be mastered if you aren't that great at it. Hey, I'm not good at softball. It takes practice.

4. Flirting isn't corny. How well you flirt can determine whether you meet someone or you don't.

5. Flirting isn't just for women or men. It is a dual gender activity. It's just the agendas of the sexes can differ. Women want validation. Men want sex. Or the agendas can be similar. Women want attention. Men want attention. Depends on the people and the environment.

6. Flirting isn't always reserved for one person -- even though there is a true commitment to only one person. Some people need more validation than others. Flirting is like an innocent quick fix to a bad hair day!

7. Bad flirting can be misinterpreted. Know what you're doing works. If it hasn't worked in the past --flirting may not be your thing.

8. Flirting can still occur between couples who have been together forever. Its healthy. Its sexy.

9. Flirting can occur innocently. Like a little girl with her daddy. A pet owner with a dog or cat. It isn't all sexual -- stop thinking like that:)

10. Flirting is fun and is actually something nice to do for other people. Everyone wants to be validated in this world and flirting is just another kind way of spreading a little love around:)


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