There are many people in relationships or seeking relationships who are attention starved. Is this you?
Unfortunately, people (and especially women:) who are attention starved tend to make poor choices when choosing their new partners.
The 30 phone calls he makes to your cell phone within an hour's time, would usually send up a red flag that he's a little loco right? Not all the time. Sometimes this type of negative attention can be misconstrued as "passion" or as a "deep connection".
But sorry folks - that is just plain ole' silly. Grown folks should not be what doing what basically comes down to harassment in order to get your attention. And you definitely shouldn't validate that type of behavior.
Other negative attention favorites include:
1. Repetitive Calls
2. Repetitive Visits
3. Starting Arguements
4. Faking an illness
5. Threatening Suicide
6. Threatening Leaving You
7. Embarassing you in public
8. Being over emotional
9. Being really needy
10. Verbally abusing you
And there are many more we could add to this list. So what's the big deal about negative attention givers -- well there always comes a point where the attention and the types and degree of negative behaviors start to increase, and then this icky cycle begins.
The things that he does drives you crazy, makes you sick or sad, but the fact that he is doing them to you makes you feel wanted. Desired. Thought about. It's a nasty little negative relationship cycle that always leads to a counselor's office or worse.
So Save your money. Skip therapy and get out of a negative attention relationship - TODAY! Of course once this cycle begins - it isn't easy. Sometimes you need a little direction. If this sounds like you, then you may benefit from some brief online advice right now. Try to look at your relationship through an outsider's eyes. Are you putting up with anything because you are just happy to be getting anything? Get Help Now.
Lisa Angelettie, M.S.W., is a psychotherapist, author, and an online advice expert. She has been helping people make smarter life choices since 1998. Visit her for Advice & Counseling, or take a free Depression Screening today.
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