Surviving The Holidays When Your Relationship Is Over

If your relationship is on the skids or is completely kaput - you are probably feeling extra vulnerable during the holiday season.

This time of year can be rough on a newly single person. Especially, because we have all these expectations of what our holidays should be like. Spending time with your sweetie. Shopping. Sharing holiday traditions. Meeting the family. Etc.

And no one wants to be alone during holidays that remind you of family.

So while there is nothing you can do about it right away - after all the holidays are quickly creeping up on us, here are some strategies you can practice to try and manage the loneliness.

1. Do not isolate yourself. Self-imposed isolation is not only bordering on being a martyr - but it's not productive. Breaking up is hard enough, but during the holidays only amplifies things. Go out. Be around people. Your family. People you work with. Be kind to strangers:) Whatever! Just get out.

2. Try not to project your own feelings on your family members. Ex. Don't believe that they are all sitting around talking about your break-up or wondering when you are ever going to bring someone around on the holidays. You might just be paranoid. Even family has other things to talk about other than you:)

3. Stay true to your traditions. Don't stop your normal holiday routine just because one small part of the equation has been temporarily or permanently eliminated. That's what's great about life. It can be adjusted and manipulated to satisfy your new circumstances. Go buy the tree. Celebrate Chanukah. Or make your Kwanzaa gifts as usual.

Finally, allow yourself to feel something about what is happening. Anger. Sadness. Regret. Whatever the emotions are. Allow yourself to work through them - just don't do it for 3 weeks, stuck in your bedroom:) Keep yourself into the flow of your life - but balance your need to be a little sad about it. It's okay:)

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