Why Halle Berry Is Not Getting Married
Couples like Halle Berry and her partner (model Gabriel Aubrey) are among the many couples who are deciding to "set up shop" but not necessarily tie the knot!
Many couples are choosing to be in monogamous relationships, live together, and have children - but not get married because of various reasons - but the biggest reason is one which may have developed completely in their heads.
Ask many of these couples, and a fair share of them have had plenty of heartache and disappointments with partners. Halle Berry has had two failed marriages as well as several other high-profile relationships that ended badly. Publicly announcing (on the Oprah™ Show) that she will never marry again, is a way to create an emotional wall of defense for herself.
The real point here is that marriage means many things to different people, and it is true that when couples marry, that they have certain "expectations" of what it means to be married. Clearly, her previous husbands did not meet her expectations nor did she meet theirs. And that happens...
But what she has also decided, is that perhaps something "happens" when she takes a relationship to the marriage level and has decided to avoid it entirely.
What you can learn from this though - is that nothing in particular happens to any one couple BECAUSE they got married. It's people's beliefs and expectations of marriage, and the ability OR inability to meet those expectations, that shape the future outcome of the relationship.
If you are considering whether marriage is right for you...you have to ask yourself: 1. What do I expect from marriage?
2. What kind of wife would I be?
3. What kind of husband would I be?
4. What do I expect from my partner?
5. What have I learned about marriage from my own parents?
6. What did I see growing up?
7. What did I dream would be different?
8. Ultimately, what kind of partnership do I want to create?
Knowing yourself FIRST, and who your partner is second - is key to entering a commitment as serious as marriage. Expecting your marriage to resemble any other marriage that you've seen or witnessed in your family or in books or television - is fatal. Or hoping that your marriage will miraculously be a "trouble-free" one is niave.
What's my point here? It troubles me when I hear high-profile personalities claim that not getting married is the key to their successful unions (Halle Berry, Oprah Winfrey, Susan Sarandon, Goldie Hawn). It gives the impression that the issue is the institution of marriage - when really it is the belief system of the two people that entered in that marriage.
Marriage is great folks...if you believe that it will be and if you are willing to put the work in to keep it that way.