Couples like Halle Berry and her partner (model Gabriel Aubrey) are among the many couples who are deciding to "set up shop" but not necessarily tie the knot!
Many couples are choosing to be in monogamous relationships, live together, and have children - but not get married because of various reasons - but the biggest reason is one which may have developed completely in their heads.
Ask many of these couples, and a fair share of them have had plenty of heartache and disappointments with partners. Halle Berry has had two failed marriages as well as several other high-profile relationships that ended badly. Publicly announcing (on the Oprah™ Show) that she will never marry again, is a way to create an emotional wall of defense for herself.
The real point here is that marriage means many things to different people, and it is true that when couples marry, that they have certain "expectations" of what it means to be married. Clearly, her previous husbands did not meet her expectations nor did she meet theirs. And that happens...
But what she has also decided, is that perhaps something "happens" when she takes a relationship to the marriage level and has decided to avoid it entirely.
What you can learn from this though - is that nothing in particular happens to any one couple BECAUSE they got married. It's people's beliefs and expectations of marriage, and the ability OR inability to meet those expectations, that shape the future outcome of the relationship.
If you are considering whether marriage is right for you...you have to ask yourself: 1. What do I expect from marriage?
2. What kind of wife would I be?
3. What kind of husband would I be?
4. What do I expect from my partner?
5. What have I learned about marriage from my own parents?
6. What did I see growing up?
7. What did I dream would be different?
8. Ultimately, what kind of partnership do I want to create?
Knowing yourself FIRST, and who your partner is second - is key to entering a commitment as serious as marriage. Expecting your marriage to resemble any other marriage that you've seen or witnessed in your family or in books or television - is fatal. Or hoping that your marriage will miraculously be a "trouble-free" one is niave.
What's my point here? It troubles me when I hear high-profile personalities claim that not getting married is the key to their successful unions (Halle Berry, Oprah Winfrey, Susan Sarandon, Goldie Hawn). It gives the impression that the issue is the institution of marriage - when really it is the belief system of the two people that entered in that marriage.
Marriage is great folks...if you believe that it will be and if you are willing to put the work in to keep it that way.
4 comments:
I appreciate this. since divorcing, I have said, "I'm not sure that I'm the marrying kind" - I'm still not sure, but this gives me a little perspective about black and white and how you should NEVER SAY NEVER!!
How To Pick Up Women. The Secrets You Need To Know.
Why do some guys get all the girls? There is a fine art in how to pick up women. Once you know these tips you too can have the babes of your
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Confidence: Women are drawn to guys who appear confident and know where they are going. You need to be able to project some level of self confidence to be successful in how to pick up women. Do not appear to be scared or intimidated by the girls.
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Clean: Another secret in how to pick up women is to remember that the majority of girls are put off by bad hygiene. A shower, deodorant, toothpaste, clean hair and fingernails, are minimum requirements in how to pick up women.
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Alpha male behavior: The alpha male is the sexually dominant leader in any environment, including the singles bar and parties. He is the dude
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No old pick up lines: The best tip in how to pick up women is to remember that girls hate tired old pick up lines. They have heard them all before. If you can't think of something amusing to say, then just stick to basic conversation. A secret in how to pick up women is to remember that a girl would prefer a normal conversation to corny jokes.
Smile: Smiles are like magnets and this should be remembered in how to pick up women. Smiles are extremely hard to resist and you should use this to your advantage in your new campaign in how to pick up women.
Listen: Girls find men who will listen a major turn on. Pay the girl some attention and you will be surprised.
Compliments: Sincere flattery is appreciated by all girls. Sleazy comments on physical attributes are not.
Eye contact: Maintaining eye contact with a girl is another secret clue in how to pick up women. By not looking her in the eye, you are giving the
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Watch your success with the hot babes soar. By using these tips you will have all the secrets in how to pick up women.
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I totally agree with your post. Marriage itself is not the problem, it's when people get married for the wrong reasons that the cracks begin to appear. I would love to get married one day, but I don't plan to do that until I've been with someone for a long time and I know for sure I want to be with them forever - I think people get married too soon. Love your blog :)
congratulations guys, quality information you have given!!! Advice by Tanduayus
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